Putanginang nyong mga putanginang pulis kayo, tangina nyo!

Nuno kayo nang mga aroganteng walang silbi mga bwakangina nyo. Mga hinayupak! Kayo rin ang gumagawa nang mga kagaguhan at kasalu-salutang katarantaduhan sa Pilipinas, mga ulul! 

Saan pupulutin ang turismo ngayon sa Pilipinas? Pati ang tactical opcen putanginang kagaguhan na hindi man lang marunong humwak nang maso ang mga putangina. Ano na ang iisipin nang ibang bansa? Na di talaga kayang prutektahan nyong mga putangina nyo ang mga tao sa Pinas? 

Kayo rin ang mga nagingidnap, kayo rin ang mga nanghoholdap nang bangko. Ang bawat kaso ay tinitignan nyo na lang bilang oportunidad na makahuthot! Na magaling lang mangotong at magtonghits sa presinto nyo? 

“He [Mendoza] used them as a shield,” Yabut told reporters. He added that they also had to pull back during the downpour.

A, at bakit hininto sa pagbuhos nang ulan? Dahil baka kayo sipunin? 

"Big mistake to correct a big wrong decision." 

Walangya ka naman tsong Mendoza ka. Pati ang kapatid mong hunghang at ang buong pamilya nyong nagpapalabas na matatapang. Alam mo kung ilang pamilya rin na nakadepende ang pamumuhay sa turismo, lalo sa probinsya, ang parang ginilitan nyo na rin nang leeg? Kala nyo mga sino kayo mga pukinginanyo. Mga bwiset!

The Best Swimming Cap

Speedo cannot beat this innovation...

His responsibility is to collect the entrance in one of the islands of Coron.  He gets to the various side-beaches of the island and also cleans the huts.

  

It was raining so he had to improvise a perfect head protection (anti cold and flu) while travelling between beaches.  

Can we just retire young with 10 million, buy an island, and then just do this? 

Paano kaya kung bagsakan ito nang atomic bomb?

Sandamakmak na katauhan. Hindi ko alam kung saang lugar ito, pero parang malayo pa sa kamaynilaan. Mga ilang minuto pa bago kami nakalanding. Zinoom ko ang isang bilding, may Pasig City na nakasulat. Ito ba yung lumubog sa baha?

Mukhang siksik na siksik ang lugar talaga. At parang walang kahala-halaman. Ang mga berdeng lugar ay nasa gilid lang. Punung-punu nang tao at naglalarong mga batang langaw malamang ang mga eskinita.

Ganito rin ang kinalakhan ko sa Caloocan na nunong kabataan ko'y may naghahabulan nang saksakan at umaariba nang suntukan, tadyakan, tagaan, bambuhan, barilan sila Rey Susing, Toto Talahib, Boy Negro, Bhoy Kabayo, Jun Banle, Jonjon Puto, Marvin Barok...

Pero sana'y wala naman masyadong gulo sa mga maliliit na kalyeng ito. Sana puros pagmamahalan na lamang.

Bistro Coron

In Coron, you only need one place to enjoy breakfast, lunch, and dinner. This restaurant is called...

In BISTRO CORON, the food is differently delicioso, sumptuously surprising on most cases, gourmet-like plated food choices which are not available widely. Bottom-line, something that you don’t see and eat in Manila everyday, ever month, every week (unless you live in Forbes). Even if you order an ordinary bolognese spaghetti, there is still a twist. Here are some examples: 

[yummy, big hotdog schnitzel]. 

this bolognese has a deliciously strong herb taste. 

(this pizza has raw egg put on the center. crust is also a bit soft in the center; different from restaurants in manila)

(even this pinoy fare has a delicious twist with the herb and soupy concoction added)  

A peek at the kitchen (from the small window) shows a full range of cooking armaments, giving the guests a clue of the serious food conjuring that happens inside.

(see also the full-fledged automatic fryer a la the chickenjoy machine in jollibee)

The menu is a tackily laminated print-out of a deskjet, which will probably mislead some on the “seriousness” of the meal. Bistro Coron will not serve you a plated carinderia or fast-food food. 

The menu also shows a prices a bit on the high side, but look into the other table the moment you arrive.When you see that the servings are easily good for two (e.g. the smallest pizza at 190 PhP serve 3 males), you will believe the price is well worth it.  

Another plus: you wont be able to sample everything even if you stay one week in Coron. There's just so many in the menu. We wonder how this small bistro keeps stock of all the raw materials needed everyday to have all these selections ready (although we see some note in the menu that some items need to be ordered a day ahead). 

The place is owned by Bruno, a retired anthropologist. You can see him having drinks at the bar after cooking some of the meals--probably some in the menu that still interests him, or a fare that he wants to keep consistent quality and plating of. We werent able to shake the hands of the chef because he is busy chatting with [perhaps] personal guests. 

Ah, some caveats: the pizza takes time to prepare, and the place gets full during meal hours, so be in early especially if you want pizza.

Bottomline, we'll sum it this way: To have these cuisines in Manila will cost you easily 5-fold than the price here. So each dinner or lunch is like profiting 4-fold in experience and taste. A visit to Coron is not complete without a meal in the town's famous 'Bistro.' That's for sure. 

Morning Shower!

Spotted at Ortigas, from Greenhills, going to the business district...

At times like these, even when there's a water crisis, the Filipino still wanna smell good.

Greatest Cardio Ever!

Beats cleaning your own car!

This floor is at least a thousand square meters. How many back and forth moves would it take to polish it?

But life goes on for manong...

He gets it done 

For free? For God? 

Bob Marley in the Philippine Islands

I do not know the reason behind the appeal of Bob Marley to local beach dwellers (I mean the real island-born, or those who live near shores or in small islands). It’s peculiar how hundreds of thousands of miles from Jamaica, some of our countrymen idolize this Rastafarian. In remote Apo Island, it’s a surprise to see a full-blown gazebo selling Marley trinkets. And the music lives on… even just for during the 3 hours per day where there is electricity in the island.  

Review: Open by Andre Agassi and JR Moehringer

Reading the book, I felt on most pages that Agassi is eager to provoke controversy and ensure a blockbuster of a book. I don't know if this technique deserves some kudos: he did "provoke controversy and ensure a blockbuster of a book successfully"  without alluding to sex. But he delivered them at the expense of Pete Sampras and his repeated insistence that he hates tennis (although his arguments supporting this claim remains not solid to me). Other Agassi factoids:  

• No underwear while playing tennis.
• Snorted meth.
• Courted Steffi Graf with flowers
• Wore wigs, and was worrying about it on some matches.
• Hits Pete Sampras for being a bad tipper
• Mad jealous when Brooke Shields licked matt leblanc hands for a Friends episode (she was very excited to get the guesting job).
• also 'sufficiently' discussed affairs with celebrities.  

No one can deny however the book’s fantastic facility in describing the tennis games, drills, and struggles in-game. They are the best Ive ever read for tennis, even in comparison to the long newspaper articles that come up in SI or the sports sections, during good grandslam tournaments.

There is also the remarkable  illustration that sportsmen somehow are not very different from showmen who feels proud to put on a “good show.” There is a section where Agassi explained beautifully how he held hands with a beaten down opponent to marvel at the telecast and praises accorded to their game in the evening news.

Credit indeed must go to JR Moehringer (a collaborator) for making a cohesive book out of these courting-controversy factoids, and writing Awwwww-generating sentences, like this one of Agassi referring to his future wife Stafanie “Steffie” Graf

“She looked, somehow, as if she smelled good. Also, as if she was good, fundamentally, essentially, inherently good, brimming with moral rectitude and a kind of dignity that doesn’t exist anymore.”

Awwwww (to borrow from Jessica Zafra). 

Rebyu: Last Airbender, Ampangit, anlabo, wangkwenta

Parang teleserye lang ang dating na nilagyan nang costume at kung anu-ano. Luma na pati ang mga aksyon (hindi ba nagawa na lahat nang LOTR ang lahat nang klase nang espadahan). Ampangit pa nang taichi moves para mapagalaw ang air, water, earth, at fire. Yung ibang moves parang macarena lang. 

Trying hard pa sa kaeklatan gumawa nang mythos at pabula. At masyadong ambisyoso agad sa part 2, hindi muna ayusin ang kasalukuyang pelikula.

Ang mga dayalog e parang isinulat nang grade six para sa isang role playing sa klase ng Hekasi. At nakaantok ang maraming eksena. Sa labas nang sinehan sa Rockwell ang sabi nang isang ininterbyu: “Okey naman sya, okey naman, nakatulog ako e. hehehe.” Tyak na hindi makikita ang interbyung ito sa commercial sa TV.

Meron pang isang eksena na naghubad nang jacket ang admiral ng fire nation, na parang nagpeprepara sa umaatikabong bakbakan, pero wala naman pala. Nalunod na rin lang basta. Hehehe. Meron ding isang general na nagpasiklab gumawa nang apoy para sa wala, kala mo lalaban din, pero nagpalabas lang pala. Ipinakita lang sa madla na kaya nya nang gawin yaon tapos tapos! 

Mukhang nanarantado na lang talaga itong si M. knight Shyamalan. Mukhang sobrang lumaki na ang ulo ng narsisistikong ito. Okei lang maging narcissist basta may ibubuga at nakabala ang sunud-sunod na matitinding pelikula (tulad ni Christopher Nolan). Mukhang hindi na bagay sayo ang written, produced, and directed by Hijo. Magteleserye ka na lang muna kung ipipilit mo pa.  

Tapos, tapos, nakita ko pa ang interbyung ito kanina sa youtube…

Ang sabi nang mayabang,

I think if I thought like you I’d kill myself. Everything you said is the opposite of my instinct as an artist. The way you just thought, I literally would kill myself.

Aba, e de ituloy mo na. 

Ito ang dapat alisin kasama nang mga whang-wang!

Tang inang mukhang pailaw yan. 20 years ago na yata ang pakyut na picture na ito. Tapos, mukhang pinotoshop pa. Sinungaling pati sa picture talaga itong si Gloria.