Weird, pero totoo raw ito, PENIS CAPTIVUS? Watdapak!

Sabi ng aming bubwit, totoo raw talaga ito:

Biruin mo ang karakas nang Martin na ito. Parang guwardiya lang.

***

Totoo rin daw ito.

Penis Captivus? Pwedeng pangalan ng  Decepticon ito a. Anggaling at all-powerful na robot siguro nito. Sisiw ang mga walang kwentang ganire...

Pag ako yumaman...

1. Bibili ako nang bahay at magpapagawa nang ganireng bookshelf:

2. Magpoproduce ako nang pelikulang ganito. Yung may bidang babae na namumutol nang etits nang mga walangya. Kailangang kumita agad sa unang proyekto ko! Si Anne Curtis ang gawin nating bida!

(ito yung remake)

(ito yung original noon 1980's) 

3) Bibilhin ko ang National Bookstore Bestseller branch sa pinakataas nang Robinson's Galleria., para cutprice booksale para sa akin, kahit kailan ko gusto.


4)  Magpoproduce ako nang seryosong Pinoy Film mula sa kinita nang pelikulang may pinutulang mamang salbahe. Ang bida yun talagang madudunong umarte o yung handsng magpadirek patungo da mahusay na pag-arte, tulad nila Pen Medina, Ronnie Lazaro, at John Lloyd Cruz. Tungkol sa buhay-looban noong panahon ni Macoy ang istorya. Pwedeng pagbasihan yung maikling kwento ni Norma Miraflor na “Sulat Mula sa Pritil.” Nagitla ako nung una kong nabasa ito sa klase nang Humanidades I. Magiging mahusay ang pelikula ito, sigurado. 


5) Patitira ko sa mga taga-Tundo si Mayweather. Hindi uubra ang egoy na ito sa mga pana ng Hermosa, Moriones, isama na ang mga taga-Caloocan. 


6) Bibili ako nang typewriter na antique, maganda, at matibay. Pandispley katabi nang bookshelf. Sa loob ng library. Parang musika kasi noon sa akin ang tikatik nang typewriter. Parang katumbas kasi nuon ang solidong produksyon sa pabrika, bagamat mga salita ang pinoprodyus.  Parang ginagawang solido nang tunog nang makinilya ang mga salita.

Winner kayo!

Hahahaha



Salamat mga pards! Pampawala kayo nang pagod at inis sa trabaho. Panalo pati si tabantsingtsing sa likod.

Aahh, Chocnut

It’s always good to start a day with two bars of Chocnut. The nutty-sweetness taste is always a welcome jolt in the morning.

And then it also reminds you that this delicacy is ours. It’s Filipino. (In the famous Intramuros Tour by Carlos Celdran, this candy is being served, and the tourist love them).

Lately though, I seem to be getting pcs which are too sweet. Damn to sweet. I hope the Chocnut makers get their QA right and bring consistently nuttier flavor than those that plain kill us with sugar. Don’t let that Chinese peanut bar (which may have melamine, btw) beat our icon. 

The ultimate penis envy in photography

Unless you shoot for National Geographic, buying a lens this big is pure unadulterated penis envy:

I own a semi-sized reliever of insecurity as well: 

And in a recent "Coaching Workshop Integration," I arrived in costume as a photographer. Among others, I explained that this lens will not make you a photographer. Instead it will just make you realize that it is not always about size. Most of the time, skill and technique have more bearing. This is my least used lens. Not ideal investment if you dont have the time to go bird-watching.  

Major, Major

Why is it wrong to use "major, major" in a beauty contest? How about "big, big" would this be acceptable to the Miss Universe judge? Or great great? Terrible terrible? Youre all pretentious, damn pageant people. (Watch Little Miss Sunshine so you can get my point).

Speaking of Universe... I just discovered that it is possible to take a picture of the Milky Way from night-sky on Earth.

Here is the instruction from NASA:

To do so, conditions need to be just right. First and foremost, the sky must be relatively clear of clouds so that the long band of the Milky Way's central diskcan be seen. The surroundings must be very near to completely dark, with no bright artificial lights visible anywhere. Next, the Moon cannot be anywhere above the horizon, or its glow will dominate the landscape. Last, the shadowscan best be caught on long camera exposures. 

 Wow, could this be capture-able at Arayat? Or a remote location in Siquijor?

Going back to Venus Raj, this is an effective mini-dissertation discussing her and her now well-cited, frequently-referenced, soon-to-be-legendary answer.

I agree that she's practically more famous now that the one who actually won that pretentious pageant. Good answer, good work, Venus!

Putanginang nyong mga putanginang pulis kayo, tangina nyo!

Nuno kayo nang mga aroganteng walang silbi mga bwakangina nyo. Mga hinayupak! Kayo rin ang gumagawa nang mga kagaguhan at kasalu-salutang katarantaduhan sa Pilipinas, mga ulul! 

Saan pupulutin ang turismo ngayon sa Pilipinas? Pati ang tactical opcen putanginang kagaguhan na hindi man lang marunong humwak nang maso ang mga putangina. Ano na ang iisipin nang ibang bansa? Na di talaga kayang prutektahan nyong mga putangina nyo ang mga tao sa Pinas? 

Kayo rin ang mga nagingidnap, kayo rin ang mga nanghoholdap nang bangko. Ang bawat kaso ay tinitignan nyo na lang bilang oportunidad na makahuthot! Na magaling lang mangotong at magtonghits sa presinto nyo? 

“He [Mendoza] used them as a shield,” Yabut told reporters. He added that they also had to pull back during the downpour.

A, at bakit hininto sa pagbuhos nang ulan? Dahil baka kayo sipunin? 

"Big mistake to correct a big wrong decision." 

Walangya ka naman tsong Mendoza ka. Pati ang kapatid mong hunghang at ang buong pamilya nyong nagpapalabas na matatapang. Alam mo kung ilang pamilya rin na nakadepende ang pamumuhay sa turismo, lalo sa probinsya, ang parang ginilitan nyo na rin nang leeg? Kala nyo mga sino kayo mga pukinginanyo. Mga bwiset!

The Best Swimming Cap

Speedo cannot beat this innovation...

His responsibility is to collect the entrance in one of the islands of Coron.  He gets to the various side-beaches of the island and also cleans the huts.

  

It was raining so he had to improvise a perfect head protection (anti cold and flu) while travelling between beaches.  

Can we just retire young with 10 million, buy an island, and then just do this? 

Paano kaya kung bagsakan ito nang atomic bomb?

Sandamakmak na katauhan. Hindi ko alam kung saang lugar ito, pero parang malayo pa sa kamaynilaan. Mga ilang minuto pa bago kami nakalanding. Zinoom ko ang isang bilding, may Pasig City na nakasulat. Ito ba yung lumubog sa baha?

Mukhang siksik na siksik ang lugar talaga. At parang walang kahala-halaman. Ang mga berdeng lugar ay nasa gilid lang. Punung-punu nang tao at naglalarong mga batang langaw malamang ang mga eskinita.

Ganito rin ang kinalakhan ko sa Caloocan na nunong kabataan ko'y may naghahabulan nang saksakan at umaariba nang suntukan, tadyakan, tagaan, bambuhan, barilan sila Rey Susing, Toto Talahib, Boy Negro, Bhoy Kabayo, Jun Banle, Jonjon Puto, Marvin Barok...

Pero sana'y wala naman masyadong gulo sa mga maliliit na kalyeng ito. Sana puros pagmamahalan na lamang.

Bistro Coron

In Coron, you only need one place to enjoy breakfast, lunch, and dinner. This restaurant is called...

In BISTRO CORON, the food is differently delicioso, sumptuously surprising on most cases, gourmet-like plated food choices which are not available widely. Bottom-line, something that you don’t see and eat in Manila everyday, ever month, every week (unless you live in Forbes). Even if you order an ordinary bolognese spaghetti, there is still a twist. Here are some examples: 

[yummy, big hotdog schnitzel]. 

this bolognese has a deliciously strong herb taste. 

(this pizza has raw egg put on the center. crust is also a bit soft in the center; different from restaurants in manila)

(even this pinoy fare has a delicious twist with the herb and soupy concoction added)  

A peek at the kitchen (from the small window) shows a full range of cooking armaments, giving the guests a clue of the serious food conjuring that happens inside.

(see also the full-fledged automatic fryer a la the chickenjoy machine in jollibee)

The menu is a tackily laminated print-out of a deskjet, which will probably mislead some on the “seriousness” of the meal. Bistro Coron will not serve you a plated carinderia or fast-food food. 

The menu also shows a prices a bit on the high side, but look into the other table the moment you arrive.When you see that the servings are easily good for two (e.g. the smallest pizza at 190 PhP serve 3 males), you will believe the price is well worth it.  

Another plus: you wont be able to sample everything even if you stay one week in Coron. There's just so many in the menu. We wonder how this small bistro keeps stock of all the raw materials needed everyday to have all these selections ready (although we see some note in the menu that some items need to be ordered a day ahead). 

The place is owned by Bruno, a retired anthropologist. You can see him having drinks at the bar after cooking some of the meals--probably some in the menu that still interests him, or a fare that he wants to keep consistent quality and plating of. We werent able to shake the hands of the chef because he is busy chatting with [perhaps] personal guests. 

Ah, some caveats: the pizza takes time to prepare, and the place gets full during meal hours, so be in early especially if you want pizza.

Bottomline, we'll sum it this way: To have these cuisines in Manila will cost you easily 5-fold than the price here. So each dinner or lunch is like profiting 4-fold in experience and taste. A visit to Coron is not complete without a meal in the town's famous 'Bistro.' That's for sure.