Russell Westbrook, Kupz!

• Buwaya.
• Madupang sa bola.
• Kapag naisipang magpasa, palpak ang pasa. 
• Kapag narinig na ang pito nang referee, di na gagawa nang paraan para subukang maipasok ang bola kahit nasa ere na sya. Parang sinasabi...oks nako, free throw na lang! 
• Tapos, hindi naman maipapasok ang free throw! Langya. 
• Di natututo. Syut lang nang syut. Sablay lang nang sablay!
• Pa-istar! Parang papogi pa sa TV camera. 
• Sablay, Walang Kwenta, Pang-bench-lang-dapat, Kupz.

Angelo Reyes, Congrats!

Matagal-tagal na ring walang nagpapakamatay na dapat magpakamatay. Congrats sa iyong ultimate delicadeza. Pero bakit hindi sa ulo, tsong? 

Tsaka sana marami pang sumunod. Tsaka Kung may Sparrow Unit pa, si Carlos Garcia dapat wag na hintaying magpakamatay, patayin na lang!

Isama nyo na rin itong hayop na ito:

"We are third generation despots in the Philippines." Hahahaha. Buwakanginamo. Dapat sa Munti ikulong ang isang ito.

Garbage training

I am advocating a colleague's "Executive Training" at Harvard. I want this colleague to not waste any time any more on garbage courses that are being offered by companies like Macrovision Consultancy.

It's been almost ten years since Macrovision President Margel Jajurie, this person...

demonstrated the single most annoying seminar that Ive ever attended.

I hate to single out a company who's striving to earn a decent living by offering these courses, but
but Marjel Jajurie is teaching Ishikawa diagram so proudly like it is a new revolutionary tool in Quantum Mechanics. Ishikawa is just a diagrammed chart of why-why-why, that's it, youre not delivering a fresh proof from a Fields Medal scientist, madame.

More than the money spent (they range from 5000 to 8000 per head), Jajurie wasted our two days. And most of our two days are spent on our own, supposedly learning on our own... meaning on workshops. A day went this way: Jajurie will speak for 10 minutes, and then she will command that we do a workshop.

For someone who's espousing to be the expert of the 7 QC Tools (which are stupid common-sensical charts and pictureforms anyway), the lecture is sparse and uninspired. And she also had the audacity to attack one of my classmates for not listening at one point, in her same droning voice,  awkward syntax, and ungrammatical spoken english.

Im surprised to be led to this company while I was looking for good local courses, which our newbies can attend. Don't waste your time enlisting Macrovision on anything.

Pilipinaskaygandahin nyo mukha nyo, Department of Tourism

Fucking shit Department of Tourism. Pilipinaskaygandahin nyo mukha nyo, plagiarist fuckers.


For once, I support Miriam, for declaring this: 
"This is a very lightweight cabinet. They're so lightweight they're liable to float off their own delusions of grandeur... Dahil kung mediocre ka, kamukha ka na lang ng lahat ng tao. Magpakita ka naman ng talino mo." 
And this DOT secretary...

...this Alberto Lim is so arrogant to plaster his face as an intro in the DOT and wowphilippines website. 
Mr Secretary, do you think your face will attract tons of tourists? Or will it repel them, bureaucrat as you are? Your message is like one of those office memoes that we hate. Remove that fucking memo, you lightweight. 
Go back to your previous red-tape, worthless, business club work. 


Dear President Noynoy, find a young brand manager from one of the top Filipino corporations. You cannot match their salary, yes, but there are still those who are willing to take a pay cut to help this country. Attract one (say, as DOT secretary), work with him/her for two years, and then ask for a recommendation, a previous colleague who will serve, who are willing to really serve next.


They will prevent these snafus. You have so many disasters in your first year because, indeed, the people that surround you are lightweights!


UPDATE
This undersecretary who owned this disaster resigned. In doing this, you thought he had the grace and delicadeza that most people in government dont have... but no, he also had the arrogance to type in excuses 

Getting inspiration from existing designs is not an uncommon practice. In fact, in one of the definitions of plagiarism, it is stated that, “While plagiarism is condemned in academia and journalism, in the arts it is often a major part of the creative process.”

I did not consider it plagiarism then. I’m sorry others don’t feel the same way.

So, fuck you too Enteng Romano! You brought zero tourists (probably more potential ones, dismayed). Just leave. That's the point of owning mistakes. 

Dengue and Martinez Memorial Hospital (Caloocan)

Well, before discussing the horror of the disease itself, let me Segway to horrors in one particular hospital.

What started as a labtest in Martinez Memorial Hospital in Caloocan turned out as a disgust and holdup combined. It is already a bad idea to name your hospital a "MEMORIAL Hospital," (all patients should have memorial plans for good measure?), but then in addition they have this Annex, which is actually a row of decrepit rooms in a decrepit building beside a creek, which emits a foul cadaverous stench.We had no choice but to transfer to the newer building, which is 2 times more expensive (an obvious tactic?). Then we also had to pay for room transfer, although we only stayed for a few hours in the room with peeling paint, fetid restroom, wrecked window screens, and reeking smell from outside. If you dont have bacterial infection at the time you were admitted in this room, you will most probably be oozing puss by the day you are discharged. One private 'annex' room by the way costs around 600 PhP per night, while it's 1200 for the new 'wing.'

The admitting ER resident also asked if we know a practicing doctor in the hospital. After we said we dont, she assigned us with a bit of smile to a certain Dr F, who we found out later, was one of the owners of the hospital. Why was the ER doctor had that trace of smirk... I found out later . 

The patient was actually our babysitter. We had to leave her for one night and morning to be the babysitter  ourselves at home. Coming back around noon next day, we asked to talk with the attending Dr Ferdinand Martinez. We were told that he left, but it's ok, the nurses said, he already wrote some of the treatments needed. 

After the result of the most recent blood test came out, we still had no Dr. F to talk with. so we have decided to transfer to a better hospital. We asked for the bill to be readied. Lo and behold, even if the patient's platelet count is still borderline manageable, Dr F, who we cannot reach, apparently prescribed transfusion of 3 bags of white blood cells. Each one costing 2500 plus 3000 more for the screening needed. That's 10 K PhP in one pop!

When we refused the transfusion, a procedure where I have some general reservations myself (i have heard so many horror stories about dirty blood being given to a healthy person), the billing dept (of course) wont let us leave without paying for the bags. One nurse was insisting that we ready our own ice chest, and bring the bag home and do whatever we want to it (what, to drink?).

Nearing midnight, we had to relent to the transfusion just to be over with it. So it's instant 19000 PhP for one night of stay at this fucking hospital: 

And the patient had no improvement after the treatment; we had to go to another hospital. More on Dengue and this next (better) hospital later.

Dont ever go near Martinez Hospital.

Tanginang Tim Yap

Kung sino man ang hunghang sa greenwich o ad agency ng greenwich na nakaisip na kunin itong kulugong tsekwang tsekwang na ito, nasa kamay nyo ang ilang libong pizzang hindi naorder. Maraming nauyam tyak sa pagmumukha nang Tim Yap na ito sa commercialat posters nyo.Maraming bibili na sana nang Bacon Melt ninyo, pero natawag na lang bigla sa 9111111 dahil nakita ang kups na ito:

Ano ba ang ginawa nito sa buhay para mabigyan sya nang karapatan na gambalain tayo sa tv? Anong kultura ang nais nyang iparating? Dahil ba sinwerteng nakapagtayo nang emba-emba na paboritong tambayan ni L'il Zuplado? Dahil gusto nyang maging wannabe TMZ tsupaetski? Watdapak! Kinansel mo ang bisa ni John Lloyd sa commercial. Alisin na ito, Greenwich President. 

Putanginang nyong mga putanginang pulis kayo, tangina nyo!

Nuno kayo nang mga aroganteng walang silbi mga bwakangina nyo. Mga hinayupak! Kayo rin ang gumagawa nang mga kagaguhan at kasalu-salutang katarantaduhan sa Pilipinas, mga ulul! 

Saan pupulutin ang turismo ngayon sa Pilipinas? Pati ang tactical opcen putanginang kagaguhan na hindi man lang marunong humwak nang maso ang mga putangina. Ano na ang iisipin nang ibang bansa? Na di talaga kayang prutektahan nyong mga putangina nyo ang mga tao sa Pinas? 

Kayo rin ang mga nagingidnap, kayo rin ang mga nanghoholdap nang bangko. Ang bawat kaso ay tinitignan nyo na lang bilang oportunidad na makahuthot! Na magaling lang mangotong at magtonghits sa presinto nyo? 

“He [Mendoza] used them as a shield,” Yabut told reporters. He added that they also had to pull back during the downpour.

A, at bakit hininto sa pagbuhos nang ulan? Dahil baka kayo sipunin? 

"Big mistake to correct a big wrong decision." 

Walangya ka naman tsong Mendoza ka. Pati ang kapatid mong hunghang at ang buong pamilya nyong nagpapalabas na matatapang. Alam mo kung ilang pamilya rin na nakadepende ang pamumuhay sa turismo, lalo sa probinsya, ang parang ginilitan nyo na rin nang leeg? Kala nyo mga sino kayo mga pukinginanyo. Mga bwiset!

"Pati si Maambong, naambunan ko rin"

Panalo ka talaga sa katatawanan, bok. 

At parang perpetual na lasing ka na parati ngayon kung magsalita. Winner!

Crazy

Next page on her "slide/trapper_keeper"

Masturbating

Fingering

Cutting classes

Saying “Pakyu!”

Laughing at this presentation (printout)

Saying Putangina or Pukinangina or Pukingina

Not memorizing Ama Namin
Thinking about boobs and titi
Sleeping/Snoring in church

The Problem with Gibo

The problem with Gilbert Teodoro is his eyeball. The black in his eye is too big, bigger than the usual circumference, area, ratio of black to white in a normal person’s eye.

Because of this, at certain angles, even when smiling, he looks like Damien from The Omen, or someone demonic, or possessed with demons (that has to be exorcised soon).

Look… 

Almost all black in the eyes… no whites. It also looks like the insignia of Spy in Games of the Generals.

See? Aaaah, now I know… his eyes looks like Toad’s (played by Ray Park) from the first X-Men movie.  

(gibo pics from someone's photobucket. ray park from a posting at ebay).

Ampatuan Alvarado

Who the fuck is this Ampatuan in black?

Kayang talunin nang ulupong na ito ang karakas ni Max Alvarado! Putangina, mukhang totoong kontrabida na dapat pinapatay sa pamamagitan nang pagpapakagat sa mga antik na langgam!

(This snake can beat Max Alvaro's kisser! Son of a bitch, looks like a real bad guy in the movies. He should die, left to the ancient punishment of leaving tied up with big ants]--haha ampangit ng transleysyon! simpangit nang bwakanginang ampatuang ito. magkita tayo sa tondo, maski muslim-muslim ka pa.

Panalo ang batang ito!

Kwistyonz, hijo: 

alam ba nang nanay mo ang pinaggagawa mo?

Masarap ba ang  fwrapucchinowz sa starvuckz?

Sino ang naggupit sayo 

"Playing on a perceived obligation"

"...But sometimes you find yourself in a situation where the guilt factor is really high, or someone plays on a relationship or a perceived obligation, and it's hard to escape without seeming rude." from this post.

The fantastic essay is about something else, but this phrase reminded me of people who are masters of this move. Even he or she is just a friend of a cousin's friend of the friend of a relative, and you've shaken hands and talked with for 3 seconds, on a baptism you were obliged to attend, when that master approaches you for a favor, it seems your a fucking ingrate if you say you have no time, or even say you are not the right person to approach.

Like that person youve met in one drinking spree, then the following day gets to your office, sits at your table, and ask you to get her a job in the company.

These people look you in the eye, and do not leave until you say yes.

Best solution against these sorts? Avoid. Dont even shake hands or say hi. If it so happen that you must meet, or you suddenly meet somewhere, then hust nod. Say the fewest words possible, then leave. Be proactive in avoiding contact.

Carlo Caparas

Carlo J. Caparas opuses: Lipa Massacre, Ilaban Mo, Bayan Ko: The Obet Pagdanganan Story, Pangarap Kong Jackpot (TV Series in Channel 4), Tirad Pass… just try to watch any of these… they’re surreal. Caparas is well-known to write the script while shooting!

“Kahit sino, kahit asawa ko at mga anak ko, makakapagpatunay ng sipag ko at sakripisyo para sa mga art ko… hindi ko ito hiningi ito… magprotesta sila, hayaan silang mainitan.“

Why he deserves to become a national artist according to Ricky Lo: “He’s the only artist with a street (in Pasig City where in his early years he worked as a security guard) named after him.” [Tanginahit naman Ricky. Bat ka naman bumanat nang ganyan].

C’mon, Mr Caparas, you already raked-in in the 90’s, can you just give up this disgrace? You’ll be disgraced yourself if you don’t give this up.

To Ms. Arroyo,ngayon nakakatakot na talaga ang kaya ninyong gawing mag-asawa dala kakapalan nang apog ninyo.

Hudapak: Chino Trinidad

"Isa na naman pong pang-Motolite matagalan round!"

"Hindi man lang po pinagpawisan si Manny... [mayamaya]... may galos si Manny sa kaliwang mata."

"Hayan hayan binabanatan na ni Manny... hayun nasuntok si Manny!"


Isang rason kung bakit ayaw na ayaw kong manood nang boksing na ang komentaryo ay sa Pilipino. Langya. Mag-retire ka na nang maaga Chino Trinidad.

Hudapak: Lino Cayetano

Hudapak is Lino Cayetano?, a friend asked.

Found some answers in an article...

"For the past months, everybody’s been hearing and talking about how hard
the intense and goodlooking young director has been working on his first film
project, “I've Fallen For You.”

Star Cinema is quite happy with the results. “We are very happy that Direk Lino came on board for this project. He is very meticulous, hardworking and it showed in this endeavor,” this according to producer Marizel Samson-Martinez.
The movie is very close to Direk Lino’s heart as he injected family values into the film. Direk’s only wish was, “Sana noon pa ako gumawa ng pelikula para napanood ng Daddy ko.”

[as if everyone can just borrow a cybershot and film a feature length!] Then the movie reportedly sucked big time. Did he get to direct because of connections and his tabloid-fodder good life?